so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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