He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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