He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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