i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
