i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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