I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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