She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
