Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
