I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
