Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
