there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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