Define "chronic" masturbator.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
