5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woke up backwards on a recliner
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
