So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
only you would photoshop your dick
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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