Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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