Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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