I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
