capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
