We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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