We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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