last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
