can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
