i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
