you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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