I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
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He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Everyone says I win the strip club
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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