y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
