Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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