Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
