mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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