i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize