Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
