For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
