Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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