I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
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I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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