so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
