I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
