We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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