I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
