I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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