bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
