my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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