i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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