Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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