you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
