We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
