Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
