His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
