nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Are we still banned from the library?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
