if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
