She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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