it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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