About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
