I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
