You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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