If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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