this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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