That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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