Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
