"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I want a musical about memes.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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